Suffer in Silence Love in Silence
by iheartBL
Summary: How could she have told Richard to bury his feelings when she couldn't do the same? Au post "Denna"


A/N: Okay so I recently started watching Legend of the Seeker (thanks to my sister and parents) and was instantly hooked. And once more, I find myself attached to yet another TV couple *sigh* Anyhow, this is my first fanfic in regards to this-fandom, so I do hope I do the characters justice.

Disclaimer: Owns nothing, if I did, this would have gotten a third season…

Warning: AU post "Denna"

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Suffer in Silence/Love in Silence

Throwing a twig into the cackling fire, she couldn't bring herself to smile on this beautiful tranquil night. There was no screech of a gar, no rumble of a D'Haran army in the distance making its trek to destroy yet another town of the Midlands, or the eerie howl of a Shadrin. Instead, the stars glimmered over head, the crickets chirped peacefully, and the sweet smell of pollen invaded her nostrils. Still, she had no reason to smile, not when the feelings she'd hoped to bury pressed around her in a suffocating manner.

_"But Richard your mission is far more important than whatever feelings we may have, that's why we can never act on them. We can never let our guard down. We have to bury them. Can you do that?" _

"_Well, if there's one thing I learned from Denna, it's how to suffer in silence."_

How was she going to help Richard complete his quest? How would she ever measure up to him when his destiny was so much greater than hers? How could she have told Richard to bury his feelings when she couldn't do the same? Releasing a huff, she wiped at her glassy eyes when the break of a twig alerted her of a visitor. Looking up, she found it to be the one person she'd hope to avoid-at least for a while, and silently prayed that it was somehow Zedd playing tricks on her instead.

"Zedd has first watch."

The sound of his voice was lifeless when compared to tones she was used to hearing. Nodding silently, she let him occupy the vacant portion of an old log she had been using as a seat. Uncomfortable as it may have been, it felt more like a cushion after sitting and sleeping on the ground for so long.

"You okay?" he asked after an unbearable moment of silence. Hugging his knees close, he scrutinized the distant look of her features. "Where's your head, Kahlan?"

"It's suffering," she spoke up. "In silence."

Richard nearly smiled for the irony of it all. "And how's the pain treating you?"

"Worse than an agiel." This time, he did crack a smile, one that somehow eased her pain and ebbed away her suffering.

Tentatively reaching for her hand, he intertwined his fingers through hers only when she made no indication of resisting. Giving her hand a gentle squeeze, his eyes stared off into the flames as he said, "We'll find a way to be together."

Kahlan wanted so badly to latch onto that thread of hope, but somehow it appeared all too flimsy. Sighing, she craned her head in his direction, letting her head fall into her lap. "How? My magic is keeping us from being together."

"We'll find a way," he affirmed, facing her. He couldn't help but think that the long dark tresses flowing from her head made her appear even more beautiful than this tranquil night; a night he'd longed for since this crazy journey began. Swallowing, he turned away from her. "Anyhow, love is more than just physical." Cringing from the cliché, Richard released her hand.

"Love," she uttered in a whisper, lifting her head, "is that what you feel?"

"I've never felt so strongly about anything."

Did he really have to say that? It only made the ache in her heart grow.

"Don't you feel the same way?"

Kahlan didn't bother uttering those eight letters, nor did she bother denying them when Richard could blatantly see that emotion etched across her face. He could see it in her sorrow filled eyes and in her forlorn glance.

Sharing in on her gaze, Richard leaned forward and brushed away a strand of her hair. "Keep fighting for the hope, Kahlan."

Leaning into him, she let her head fall to his shoulder, inhaling his all too familiar woodsy scent. Nodding, she looked his way again, but this time, her wide blue orbs were somehow brighter. "I believe in you."

"That's all I ask," he smiled, caressing her chin with the pad of his thumb.

The moment should have ended there, and another scene should have taken its place, but instead she let his eyes linger upon hers far too long. Engulfed in the moment itself, she felt the air change into one that was more intimate. She felt him lean towards her…towards her lips. However, her judgment was growing hazier as the distance between them was eclipsed, and before the alarm bells could reach a crescendo, his lips were upon hers. Fingering the fabric of his tunic, she kissed him back, letting her lips gently work against his. However, once the third kiss transitioned into an almost forth, her consciousness returned, and she pulled away.

"Richard!" Breathing heavily, Kahlan stood, folding her arms as tears threatened to blur her vision. "We promised each other, we can't act on these feelings."

"Feelings we clearly have," he stated, his hazel eyes sharp.

His gaze made her almost tremble. "We can't keep doing this…" Dropping her arms, she began twisting her fingers in an absent fashion. "I don't want to have to leave."

"And you won't," he stated, careful not invade her personal space.

Heart hammering in her chest, she wasn't sure how she'd be able to relax around his presence. "I can't confess you. I can't keep you from your quest. The world needs you."

"And what about me?"

"This is bigger than yourself, bigger than me-than us."

Richard nodded solemnly in understanding, running a hand through his short locks of hair in frustration. "I'll be careful."

"That's all I ask," Kahlan stated through a feigned smile, wondering if Richard could catch the hollowness of her tone just as much as she could.

"Sacrifices of the heart. Suffer in silence," he whispered, looking her way with the ghost of a smile.

She matched his smile, standing next to him, but staring once more into the cackling flames. The flames were an easier target of concentration after all. "Love in silence."

"Love in silence," he repeated.

Until they were able to make that whimsical hope a reality, love in silence is what they'd have to do, because from here on out, only stolen glances and secret smiles were allowed.A

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A/N: Okay, this was my first ever fic for Legend of the Seeker, let me know what you guys think. *crosses fingers*


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